bend on the road

grass and trees stretched before us, but all i can see is just un-satisfaction. i could imagine what the past held. i tried to imagine the blue - green tall grass. i always love blue - green. i often sees the sign of fatigue in me, after awhile there was nothing behind us and nothing before us except the love, forgiveness, and feelings of needed. when would the searchlight come? we werenot sure. i told myself, i have been a fool. fool enough not to be able to see. tired out and scratched to pieces, i have decided that i wanna live in peace. but peace is so far, cause the devil is near.

Pecah

Rasanya kok seperti masih mencari kepingan yang hilang? padahal keping itu sudah terlihat, namun masih terasa jauh untuk dijangkau...Rasanya setiap kali saya melangkah, keping itu ditarik seseorang yang lain di ujungnya.

Rasanya seperti campuran minum campuran cuka diberi garam dan bubuk kopi. Perut terasa mual, rasa tajam cuka yang menyengat plus pahitnya kopi (eh,kopi asam dink?)...

Lelah, ingin menyerah, seperti ditarik kedalam perut bumi ketika saya mengulang, mereview, mereka - reka....hmm..yah,kamu tahu apa yang saya maksud.

Saya tahu, Saya seharusnya melupakannya saja, membuang jauh segala pikiran itu, tapi maaf, saya tidak mudah melakukannya, tidak tanpa kamu yang membantu.

Maaf.

Shoot for the moon. Even if you miss, you'll land among the stars. (Les Brown)

We all know that a drop of rain does not make a summer. But what about a storm, a hurricane?

Hope is the only virtue that makes you sail through even in your worst period of life.

Everything will work out just fine. Let's keep our fingers crossed and hope for the best.

Sometimes, you have to believe that something is possible even when there is some evidence to the contrary.

LIFE'S TOO SHORT TO MAKE ALL THE MISTAKES, SO LEARN FROM OTHERS'...

It's funny, yet so true. How can we afford to make all the mistakes life has to offer, while our time here is short?

Keep believing, Keep pursuing....

o,o, siapa dia?

Sekilas memang terlihat lumayan, dengan warna kulit cerah, tapi setelah lama dilihat, mukanya selalu nampak ditekuk, bukan tipe orang yang ceria dan menyenangkan. Bibirnya memang khas, menyiratkan sepertinya ia jarang tersenyum, bahkan pada saat ia tersenyum. Kekerasan hati, dengan gaya yang sok asik. Hiks, maap, bukan menyinggung. Hidup ini sungguh lucu, kenapa yah Tuhan bisa menciptakan guratan wajah seperti itu? ck!

circle-of-life

Play hard. Study hard. Enjoying youth. Have some adventures. Go to university. Find a decent job. Make a great carreer. Save money. Travel around. Get some exposures of life. Find a destiny. Get married. Have kids. Raise kids. Have some deposits. Make good investments. Die with happiness. Remembered by people around us.

you are...

The one i love

Accross The Universe

The universe is impressive. You just won't believe how vastly, hugely, mind- bogglingly big it is. I mean, you may think it's a long way down the road to the chemist's, but that's just peanuts to space.

Look again at that dot. That's here. That's home. That's us.

On it everyone you love, everyone you know, everyone you ever heard of, every human being who ever was, lived out their lives.

The aggregate of our joy and suffering, thousands of confident religions, ideologies, and economic doctrines, every hunter and forager, every hero and coward, every creator and destroyer of civilization, every king and peasant, every young couple in love, every mother and father, hopeful child, inventor and explorer, every teacher of morals, every corrupt politician, every "superstar," every "supreme leader," every saint and sinner, every genius and idiots, every pain and every single breathe of every single human being.

I could never imagine how small we are. How selfish we are. How small we are. How selfish we are.

Across the Universe, there's something beyond our selfishness.

baca yo baca!

Pagi ini saya melihat seorang bapak penjual balon yang sedang berada di angkutan umum dan ia membeli sebuah koran dari sang pedagang koran keliling di lampu merah. Pemandangan ini sungguh menyenangkan. Negara kita memang tidak terlalu membiasakan budaya baca, tapi melihat beberapa orang mempunyai minat baca yang cukup besar itu sangat membahagaikan. Saya pun pernah berkata kepada salah seorang teman bahwa saya ingin melewatkan liburan bersama tumpukan - tumpukan buku...membaca dan membaca dan membaca. Tak salah juga yah punya kekasih seorang librarian..hhahaha...

Saya selalu membiasakan anak didik saya untuk membaca buku apa saja yang mereka sukai sebelum belajar. Mungkin mereka muak, namun dengan berjalannya waktu, mereka lebih memilih membaca di waktu luang.

Hummm, tapi yah, tetap saja saya tidak pandai membaca hati.

Cerita cinta tak hanya selalu milik dua orang

"Tak ada yang lebih menyakitkan daripada menatap kedua mata orang yang kamu cintai, lalu menemukan bayangan orang lain terpantul disana."

Tak perlu bermain dengan hatimu, berpikir bahwa semua baik - baik saja, menghabiskan waktu bersama, namun hatimu berada dalam bayangan orang lain...Mengutuk dalam hati, menghantui hari - hari dimana kau merasa bukan dia yang seharusnya kau genggam tangannya.

Dan waktu berjalan. Kau masih tidak mampu memberikan kepastian di catatan hati orang yang lain itu. Dia bukan orang bodoh, dia mencinta, dia mengerti, memberimu ruang,,,Tapi itu tidak pernah cukup untukmu, bukan? setan kecil dalam hatimu mengais - ngais, berharap sebuah pilihan kecil, letupan asmara yang penuh siasat, mampu merubah jalur kehidupan.

Sial! Hampir setiap malam kau memikirkannya, berharap dia kembali, atau sekedar merubah waktu, meloncati bagian dimana kau mengkhianati cinta kalian. Kau berharap menjadi kuat, melewati rentang waktu yang kosong ini.

Maaf, sayang, jangan tergesa - gesa mencuri waktu. Jika bahagia berarti melepasnya, pastikan saja kau memiliki kapasitas yang cukup untuk merelakan.

Otak manusia dirancang sedemikian unik untuk menyimpan segala memori, tidak menghapus begitu saja, tapi merubah sense-nya ke bentuk lain.

Ijinkan dia untuk mencinta dengan yang lain, selain kau...Seperti kau dan dia, aku juga ingin bahagia.

where do you buy your heart?

put your hand in your heart and think over. i've done my best, i've given what i can to assure that everything's well taken care of.

to think beyond self is always better. jealousy makes your heart smaller. i don't wish to be small at heart. whatta bout you?

i don't like to live my life under anyone's shadow. i will move on and give my best, i do not require any re-payment, i am most happy if you just be more understanding.

stand on the ground, do not let your self fly up high without knowing that u might burst yourself one day.

1-2-1-2-3-4

Give me more loving than I’ve ever had Make me feel better when I’m feeling sad Tell me I’m special even though I know I’m not Make me feel good when I hurt so bad Barely getting mad I’m so glad I found you I love being around you You make it easy Its as easy as 1-2-1-2-3-4 There’s only one thing To Do Three words For you I love you There’s only one way to say Those three words That’s what I’ll do Give me more loving from the very start Piece me back together when I fall apart Tell me things you never even tell your closest friends Make me feel good when I hurt so bad You’re the best that I’ve had And I’m so glad I found you I love being around you You make it easy (Plain White T's) so, baby if you don't love me, lie to me.

blahblah

menjalani percintaan beda agama saja sudah cukup sulit, apalagi ditambah beda karakter, beda pemikiran, beda perasaan...hummm....bukan saja sulit, tapi ribet, kusut, ngejlimet. walau tidak seperti orang tua Rosyid dan Delia, orang tua kami cukup fleksibel, tapi ceritanya mirip sekali...cukup mengharukan. tiba - tiba teringat pashmina putih - hitam itu...dia selalu bertengger disana, menunggu saya beli..hihi...

thin string in me

I wanna settled down, i wanna settled down. entah, saya ingin menikah. saya ingin laki laki yang sunguh mencintai dan bisa membahagiakan saya. it seemed that slowly but sure everyone is getting married or at least have someone who really can show their appreciation towards their partner. saya iri sekali padahal saya buka tipe pengiri sejati begini. walah, my mood swings, parah. God, can you send someone? or let someone open his heart and mind? i wanna settled down, or not at all. i wanna feel all those chemistry.

Anne of Green Gabbles....

How is it like to be you?

knock on woods

your happiness is your choice. i do sometimes find comfort in being sad. usually tears will make u feel better,,,or they don't?? but i do not dwell on the failure...just sometimes things are quite depressing for me. i rather take work stress than being in emotional stress. i keep on telling myself to have positive mental attitudes. last night i shared some stories in my life to a good friend of mine. she seemed to be shocked, she asked me how can i be so strong, she said she can't imagine how life can be so cruel towards me and thanking God that i can still survive and do not committed suicide. i just smiled coz i don't even know how can i be that strong. i am just aware that i am responsible for my own actions and reactions.I am responsible for how I feel and how I use my time. i have made wrong decisions, i guess we all do sometimes...but i do not want to blame anyone for anything, though they took part in making me feel miserable at that time. if you do not choose to be happy no one can make you happy. Do not blame God for that! And if you choose to be happy, no one can make you unhappy. this morning, i sent a message to a person that means a lot for me. a good friend. a soul mate. she surprisingly replied between her busyness. she told me that we are the one that make the people around proud, we are responsible with ourselves and no one else. she told me to look forward continue to pursue my dreams. she said again that i need to be focus and take the challenges coz i have a lot in me. there is time and season for everything. she said i should go and make new friends, no point to hang on history. i just need to believe in myself. i told her that i do make new friends, but i couldn't let go the old ones. i told her that memories keep me alive, remind me how much i am loved. nobody likes misery...neither do i. i just need to be happy, and good things will be drawn towards me like Magnets. finger crossed. you are not responsible for my happiness, i am. maybe it's time to let go, so everybody will be happier. please, help me, God...

I wish...

It's not about being better than someone else, it's about being better than you were the day before.. -Terry Pratchett I could make it all alright, but i couldn't. I've seen too much sorrow and i couldn't bear it with my fingers. People loved and be loved. People cried and my heart is breaking. I couldn't do anything. I could make some changes.

Falling in love to easily, but never quite so fast

Let the good times roll. Maybe there is no heaven. Maybe love is poison and sex is death. Maybe the rain will never stop us from hoping. Maybe again and again, you'll feel evicted. Maybe high life fuck-all from start to finish. Maybe love for me is slow. Maybe I want to make sure it's real. Maybe your - my thoughts so occupied on other things. Maybe I should read the book of secrets. Maybe I can't stop that? Maybe I need to Fall out of Love (or never in love so quickly) Maybe it was just a very passion? I do not know. There is no honest way to explain it.I just pushed my luck as far as I felt I could handle it, then slow down, and did whatever I had to between now and then. The edge is still out there. No, I don't think you should be worried, I think we have a great instant connection and thought we were soul mate within a few weeks. In short, I think we're one of the "insane attraction" types. I'm howling in my silence.

make me sobber, please!

Belajar menerima perbedaan adalah hal yang sulit untuk dilakukan, terutama bagi saya. Saya menyukai kesempurnaan, detail - detail kecil, saya merencanakan hal - hal yang akan dilakukan di masa depan, saya memikirkan bagaimana berbuat yang terbaik bagi saya dan orang lain, saya mendahulukan hal - hal penting. Seringkali saya terjebak diantara emosi dan perasaan yang tidak menentu akibat perbedaan yang ada. Saya tidak suka pemalas, orang yang tidak sigap, ataupun penunda - nunda. Sementara beberapa orang terdekat saya memiliki kualitas ini, kadang saya jadi merasa seperti habis minum double tequila 10 shots saja. Rasanya kepala berat, pusing, haus, yaaahh, begitulah kira - kira hangover ala tequila...enak tapi bikin ribet. Saya ingin berpetualang ke negeri antah berantah saja, dimana kejutan selalu menanti :=(

Reminder 07:45

Shall not make any decision when you are angry, and Don't make any promises when you are happy!

not young nor old

sedikit aneh. setelah 8 bulan bersama (ternyata waktu cepat berlalu), kami masih saja berusaha memahami satu sama lain. yah,dia yang bebal, dan saya yang keras. bukannya tidak mensyukuri apapun, hanya saja saya berharap mendapat sedikit saja keruwetan di tahun ini, soalnya masalah hidup lainnya pun masih setumpuk, tumpukkannya lebih tinggi dari setrikaan di rumah. hahahha. pacar saya ini memang banyak anehnya, tapi nyata. saya hampir tidak percaya apa yang dia dan kekasih lamanya lakukan dulu, atau beberapa hal yang saya anggap sedikit aneh...entahlah, mungkin itu tipe pacaran mereka, tapi sempat membuat saya geli sendiri dan tertawa cukup keras..oowwhh,cukup menghibur lah pokoknya. malam tadi setelah membicarakan beberapa hal yang tidak sampai menarik urat (phew), dia lantas mengatakan sesuatu yang kurang lebih menyatakan bahwa dia seharusnya tidak tinggal di jaman ini, saya lantas terbahak - bahak sambil membayangkan, menatap dia. saya menyepakati bahwa seharusnya dia berada di era '60 atau '70an saja. saya bilang kepada dia bahwa mungkin satu satunya yang tidak tampak usang dan sedikit modern adalah sepeda barunya dan celana dalam saja, semua yang ada di dirinya sudah usang, termasuk sikapnya yang kaku dan kurang fleksibel, macam berpacaran dengan kakek kakek jaman orde lama saja. ahahhahahhaha.....maaf,luv.... saya ini perempuan dewasa yang ber-ekspektasi memiliki hubungan yang manis, dewasa, penuh bumbu, dan bersemangat...jangan kembang kempis begini dong. yah, walau saya cukup mengerti dan memahami dia pun banyak melakukan perubahan. dari segi penampilan, lebih manis dengan panggilan sayang, berusaha mengimbangi saya, walau lempeng.com nya itu gak tertolong lagi..hiks yah, tapi saya masih optimis, sama seperti diamnya dia yang bermakna. hari esok pasti lebih baik, selama kita masih mampu berharap.

Sejumput senyum dibalik awan hitam

karena saya tahu kamu akan segera ada disini :)

sumpah serapah

hey, kamu! kamu tidak perlu merasa takut, kalau memang tidak bersalah. hey, kamu! kamu tidak perlu melarikan diri jika memang ingin dilihat. hey, kamu! jangan jadi pengecut kalau memang berani. hey, kamu! apa yang kamu khawatirkan? apa pikiran burukmu? mulut hinamu? siksa batinmu? hey, kamu! jangan menjadi jalang kalau memang merasa terhormat. hey, kamu! jangan mengintip kalau tak suka diintip. hey, kamu! jangan mengusik ketenangan orang. hey, kamu! jadilah dewasa dan tak kampungan. i'm a free man, i can do whatever i want. i'm a free man, fear is not a friend. you, you, you, come and get me for i wanna break your bones for letting the pain inside this human. you, you, you...all of you! please be more civilized :D

Saya tidak gila, belum..

Mendengar pernyataan sahabat - sahabat saya siang ini menyatakan saya masih cukup waras sebagai perempuan, yah walau saya merasa sedikit sucks oleh keadaan ini. Sahabat saya yang akan segera menikah beberapa bulan ini membuat saya sedikit iri dengan pembicaraannya di telefon dengan sang tunangan. Dengan sedikit heran saya bertanya, "Is he doing the same thing to you?? I mean the way he talk to you?? Is he that sweet?", lalu dia me-reply "Yes, he always that sweet, dia dan aku sama, kita saling memanjakan dan suka dimanjakan, aku merasa dibutuhkan oleh dia." Wew, bagai disambar petir. Seringkali saya mencoba membuat dia untuk lebih manis, tapi sulit sekali, saya juga ingin merasa dibutuhkan, dicinta sedemikian rupa, diimpikan. Perempuan mana yang tidak? bahkan hal ini disepakati oleh sahabat saya yang lain - yang n.b - super flat girl. Ternyata saya belum gila karena menginginkan hal - hal tersebut. Tolloooonngg! Cari dimana lelaki seperti itu? kalau kamu tidak bisa...bisa tidak carikan saya saja penggantimu? Cinta tak melulu ngomong cinta, tapi cinta butuh dicintai juga.

a perfect match

a good friend of mine tot i need this for my "late" coffee break...:D thanks,mate!

ke-ter-ba-ta-san

Jessica Cox bisa mengemudi mobil, berenang, dan mengetik 25 kata per menit. Ia juga pemegang dua ban hitam Tae Kwon-Do (dari dua federasi) dan pintar menari. Ia bisa sekolah, lulus kuliah, dan menerbangkan pesawat. Ia mandiri, cantik, berprestasi, dan menjadi orang yang berguna. Jadi, apa yang tidak dimiliki perempuan muda ini? Dua lengan! Jessica adalah warga negara Amerika Serikat keturunan Filipina. Usianya 25 tahun. Ia tinggal di Tucson, Arizona. saya tidak berbicara tentang hal yang muluk - muluk, hanya sedikit pengorbanan dan perubahan. ada saat - saat dimana kita akan merasa lelah, kaki akan terasa berat untuk berjalan seimbang, hati nelangsa, pikiran mumet dipenuhi hal - hal bodoh. perjalanan hidup memang tidak mudah, menyatukan dua karakter pun tak kalah sulitnya. sering kali kita dikalahkan oleh perkara - perkara kecil. sering kali yang kita lihat adalah segala keterbatasan dan keadaan yang tidak mendukung, sehingga tidak memikirkan kemungkinan-kemungkinan kreatif yang masih terdapat dalam situasinya. kita sering bilang "yah,memamg saya sudah terlahir begini, sudah dari sananya loh"..."saya memang tidak pandai bergaul, saya orang yang kaku"...atau "maafkan keterbatasan saya". saya tidak percaya kalau manusia tidak berubah. kamu, saya, mereka, kita semua bisa, asalkan ada kemauan yang lebih. saya tidak percaya pada keterbatasan. ada jalan keluar dari semua keterbatasan yang kita miliki, pemunculan kreatifitas, spontanitas pun tak kalah pentingnya. saya percaya kamu pasti bisa. bukan cara kamu, atau cara saya yang membedakan, tapi kemauan yang ada di dalamnya. kalau jessica cox saja bisa menjurangi keterbatasannya apalagi kita manusia yang diberi kesempurnaan,bukan? I'm just an ordinary woman with extraordinary hope, i have enough hope for you and me.

I'll never fall in love again

Burt Bacharach wrote: What do you get when you fall in love? You get enough tears to fill an ocean That's what you get for your devotion. I'll never fall in love again. I'll never fall in love again. What do you get when you fall in love? You only get lies and pain and sorrow. So, for at least until tomorrow, I'll never fall in love again! I'll never fall in love again! tracy wrote: what do you get when you fall in love? cold hearted man and pain, that's what you get when you give in your heart. what do you get when you fall in love? warm smile and tears, but you'll never know about tomorrow, you might get what you need from him. but i guess i will still wanna feel the feeling of fallin' in love...again.

I am Oscar the Grouch - to you

Oscar the Grouch: Now leave me alone and get lost! Scram!!

waduw!

sepertinya ada orang yang salah sangka,,,yah,biarlah! toh,interpretasi dan ekspektasi manusia berbeda - beda. saya tidak bilang bahwa si pacar saya, yang mungkin pernah bersama sebagian manusia juga, itu adalah orang yang super menyenangkan, yang patut diperebutkan,,,ckckck,,,saya bahkan terkadang dengan senang hati akan menyerahkan kembali kepada anda, jika itu yang kedua belah pihak harapkan, tawaran itu sering saya ajukan juga, dengan harapan akan membawa kebahagiaan bagi kalian. maaf yah, saya bukan orang picik yang akan menahan - nahan lelaki jika mereka tak suka, tak cinta. saya ini sudah cukup umur, cukup dewasa untuk tidak melakukan hal hal bodoh. bagi saya memiliki pendamping hidup bukan segalanya, yah, walaupun saya cukup menghargai laki laki yang bersama saya sekarang untuk kebaikannya. yah, memang, banyak perbedaan yang harus dijembatani, tetapi saya tidak akan cemburu gila pada masa lalunya, yang dulu sempat mengganggu, toh, dia juga merasa terganggu, yah, gitu saja deh,,, saya tidak pernah ada niatan menyakiti hati siapa pun, apalagi kesan mencuri seseorang dari orang lain. kalau dulu anda tidak bisa menjaga dia, jangan salahkan saya..yeh,yeh,denial,denial. well, well, saya mengharapkan bersama seseorang yang menggairahkan, bersemangat seperti saya juga, mempunyai visi - misi masa depan, kalau mas yang satu ini tidak mampu, saya akan biarkan saja dia mengejar mimpinya,,,bersama anda, mungkin? persetan dengan semua ini!

1/2

ya,ya,ya...semua wanita suka dipuja, dirayu, dicinta, didamba...kamu juga kan? ketika mencintai terasa sulit, kita hanya memikirkan ego di otak saja, hey, padahal saat saat senang, saat saat indah bersama tidak lagi terbersit dalam otak, aduduw....mengerikan yah? saat semua sudah terlambat, apakah kamu masih bisa memperbaiki dengan ratapan, tangisan, rajukan, ataupun dengan sedikit cinta yang tersisa, berharap harap cemas berusaha mendapatkan kembali sang kekasih hati yang sudah hilang itu. huff...siapa bilang jadi perempuan menyenangkan? saya ingin sesekali ada bintang jatuh, dan keesokan hari sudah menjadi seorang laki laki tampan...dan kamu jadi perempuan...we'll see apa kalian semua para lelaki bisa bertahan dengan keruwetan keruwetan wanita..yah, nikmati saja apa yang kalian miliki saat ini, jaga baik baik kalau memang cukup berharga...menyesal dikemudian hari tak ada gunanya.

soaring high

it was back then when he was much younger that he waited for her in the corner of the road. The next few years passed at lightning speed, but he still can feel every inch of her on his hands. she was wearing a white dress with pink floral patterned on it.white summer sandals. she twisted her hair up and let some twirling down to her cheek. she rolled her brown hazelnut eyes at him. smiled gently. her lip was warm and sweet as he reached her in his arms and gave her that kiss. she won't complain. he has made her continue to fall in love with him in every single day. she was a rebel. she is still now. could you make me continue to fall in love with you in every single day? to love means to share things, to love means to be able to be friends, lovers, guardian, at the same time. to love means to give beyond the expectations, to love means to trust, to love means to notice every details, to love means to respect. she or he could have been someone that you never wished for, someone that you don't even think about, someone that gives those sparkles when it is least expected.... you-your pain was my pain, it went both ways....words are better left unspoken, sometimes.

S - M - L - Xl

she was sitting there. nervous. pressing the number on and off until she finally decided to just send him a text. this must be the crazier 30 seconds she ever had in her whole entire life, she thought. she drank a mugful of hot chocolate. she sent this to him "i know it seemed not fun at all when i left you. i know i badly chosen the wrong timing to tell you that: i can't stop thinking about you, i've been trying to give my heart away to someone else. i know this is crazy, but will you marrying me? i have enough with this life, i have enough searching for the right person. if you still want me, you have 30 minutes to decide. if you don't, i completely understand." and he never replied. it was hurtful. she just lost her 30 seconds of madness. she walked through the corridor, tried to find her seat. fasten her seat belt. as the plane slowly took off, she closed her eyes, she was still sore from the fact that she couldn't be with him again, ever again. that's weird and funny. pardon me, i'm trying to survive here, she thought. the lady worriedly looked at her, she said "are you ok, ma'am? do you need something?" "happy - medium. that's all i need. thank you" she replied and tears fell down to her cheek.

for the greatest journay you'll ever take

can someone bring me here?? anyone?? i need a secret gateway, now.

signs

my dream was you, walking on the road alone, lost, nowhere to go. you're far apart from where i am now. i'm expecting the unexpected things, but not another dreams. my agonize is when i started to dream about the same person on and on and on, i realized that he was no longer alive. and i don't wish to happen this time. i don't read signs in my life that well, i do get a lot of signs and sometimes tend to ignore it...i'm super not good with signs, so, please, help me God!

leave me alone

"you always brings others happiness" that was what said by my fortune cookies. Am I? so who's gonna bring me happiness when i can't be happy? shall wait for the next fortune cookies, or beli buku primbon aja sekalian... saya sering merasa tidak mampu membahagiakan orang lain walau banyak yang menyatakan bahwa saya adalah orang yang baik, bahkan salah seorang teman dekat bilang saya si scorpio yang baik..ahahhaha...memang ada apa dengan scorpio? jangan salahkan bunda mengandung.....:) ketika hidup tidak lagi terasa "hidup", saya harus apa? saya bukan orang yang suka berlari, bersembunyi, ataupun memungkiri kenyataan yang ada...yah setiap orang memiliki ketakutannya masing - masing. dad said "I love you" by the phone....and it broke my heart coz i can't say it back...i'm in a mess.

***topeng***

smart ass! ya ampuunnn,kok ada yah orang yang nyebelinnya seperti itu?? ckckc....buka dulu tuh topengmu,,,,look closely and think,,,,what went wrong with u! gak capek apa hidup dalam kepura - puraan? sudahlah, hentikan saja segala nonsense ini.

memutar otak

entah kenapa belakangan ini saya sedang merasa galau saja, eh , padahal sedang tidak kedatangan bulan juga sih....hufff..... saya rindu berbelanja,,,yayayaa, saya memang sedikit gila belanja,,,sedikit saja, tidak sampai seperti Rebecca Bloomwood siih..hihihi, saya rindu dudukduduk di alfresco sambil menikmati sepotong kue dan kopi atau minuman ringan segar, rindu french toast - yoghurt - uc 1000 - di pagi hari, rindu queen size bed plus seprai lembut yang dingin, rindu berjalan di atas pasir, rindu dirindukan, rindu diberi kejutan, atau sekedar belaian lembut, rindu orang yang tidak rindu saya, rindu telur mata sapi, rindu memasak, rindu tantangan dalam bekerja (monoton dengan gaji besar pun tak menarik lagi), rindu membaca di pinggir kolam renang, rindu hidup enak (macam nyonya jet set saja,,ahahha,,yah,setidaknya saya jujur bukan?), rindu dimanjakan, rindu rumah, rindu pulang, rindu ibu. phew, flu yang menyebalkan....untung ada super sour gummy candy....

for more weddings and no funeral

i can guarantee you that... ...there will be bad days, ...one of us will feel bored somehow to each other someday, ...there'll be fights, shouts, screams, ...i'm not a perfect person, ...baby tears and cry in the night is not something that we'll enjoy, ...i will grow old and wrinkles are everywhere... but i can guarantee you that.... ...i will never stop loving you...it's not three days, a week, a month, or even a year guarantee....it's a lifetime. dance with me, sing me your song, let me rest in your loving arms....how wonderful life could be...

see the light at the end of the tunnel

kata pepatah, bersakit - sakit dahulu, bersenang - senang kemudian....benar juga sih, kadang kita terlalu larut dalam kesusahan, kesedihan yang berkepanjangan, menyiksa batin dengan atau tanpa disadari. kita pun menjadi lupa diri disaat senang, tidak memperdulikan sekitar - yang penting diri sendiri dulu saja. aahh..manusia! sepertinya langit cerah mulai menaungi saya...baguslah! dibalik segala persoalan hidup, saya cukup gembira mempunyai pasangan yang pengertian, selalu menyemangati, walau saya kepala batu dan pura - pura tidak mau dengar..ahahha...ah,tapi dia cukup mengenal sifat saya...,saya cukup beruntung masih memiliki orang - orang yang memperdulikan saya. saya memang orang yang cukup ngejlimet - kata orang jawa, saya melihat detail - detail kecil pada setiap hal, mengobservasi, menarik kesimpulan, serta tidak suka membiarkan sesuatu berlarut - larut, saya bisa gila kalau begitu...ckck..yah,tapi saya-pun hidup dalam lingkungan sosial dimana setiap manusia berbeda pemikiran, karakter, pandangan hidup, wah, repot juga kalau saya hanya berdiri pada pendirian diri sendiri bukan? anyway, despite all the sadness and sorrow, there is always (not rainbow - cause rainbow will not always come after the rain) something better to achieve. owh, ibu pacar sudah menanyakan lagi kapan kami akan menuju jenjang yang lebih serius - dengan segala perbedaan - harus bergerak cepat - wew! naik kereta ekspress saja gitu? hihihihi

two-hearts-must-beat-at-the-same-rate-of-knots

if-only-i-could-hear-the-sounds-of-your-heart,if-only-i-could-tap-it-at-the-same-beat i would have known what you feel. but, two-hearts-donot-beat-at-the-same-rate-of-knots call me a dreamer, yeah, i am. but i ain't wanna dream for the rest of my life. can someone gives me a speeding ticket? i got a knock at the door, and i couldn't open it.

Farewell

and now it's time to let go...

why can't we be like we were yesterday?!

There were moments when we hope we could go back to where we were yesterday and try to make things better,,,but hey,life never waits for us to-do-so. Some memories last forever, some we wish we could change it, some just go without us even notice it ever happened. In most normal situation, sometimes i think i can't make it through - all the riots - chaotic - and whatever disturbance - differences - in our tough time. We couldn't go back to where we were yesterday, but you are here right now to pull me forward. " I think i can make it now, the pain has gone, all of the bad feelings have disappeared. Here is the rainbow I've been praying for, it's gonna be a bright, bright sun shinny day..." that was what he wrote in his letter to me. No, i don't wanna go back to where we were yesterday, i want the future, right here - right now.

a song to my ear

Dia bilang: "Saya tidak akan pernah berhenti berusaha membahagiakan kamu" Saya juga....:) owwhh,how i wanna hug you now...

I cannot write, I'm not a writer

When we create, we become alive. We're making love to life. For every person is unique...Each of us has different perception of things. I don't write for a living. I don't go "I gotta write something", to me, writing is a hard work, it takes heart to do it, i don't go - tell people everything - cause I'm an extrovert yet introvert. I don't tell details for public. I keep in mind. The truth is — and I know this won’t be inspirational even if it is truthful — I have no wonderful stories that I absolutely must share. No moral messages, I’m just desperate to impart. No colorful characters that simply MUST be given a voice. I can come up with wonderful stories, moral messages, sadness, empathy, and colorful characters… but that’s work! (And please don’t get me started on ‘spec scripts’, which in my world that's "a lazy things" to do) One ever mentioned that she writes better than me, i don't mind, cause she writes for a living (and she better be good at it), One said I write not because i love to write, but there's another "meaning" behind it, which is not wrong and probably am. I write just to express my feeling, sometimes to convey what i had in mind. I'm not a writer, blogger, author, journalist, or whatever... I just write for fun and to tell you things i can't say directly to avoid certain issues. The applause and laughter in response to my writing is a nice reward, whatever! Anyway it's just a part of my thinking process: see - feel - rewind - write. I can't write. My writing sucks. So,what? It's freedom and democracy. Don't read what i write if you don't want to. Anyways, this is just a stupid writing,,,cos i'm not a writer. I don't care. Just don't go breaking my heart.

He said...She said

"The sky is crying...Can't you see the tears roll down the street.. I've been looking for my baby, I wonder where can he be... I saw my baby early one morning...He was walking down the street... You know it hurt me, hurt me so bad. Made my poor heart skip a beat... I've got real real real real bad feelin' That my baby, He don't love me no more... You know...The sky's been cryin... Can you see the tears roll down my nose"

The gun was for...

YOU! TO KEEP YOUR MOUTH SHUT!!

I'm lovin it!

He got me and himself a pair of this watch.... Thank you,dear....it was a sweet of you.... Every time i use this watch, i will remember all the good and bad times we have spent together...:) love you.

Think easy

Last season has been filled with promises, hope, and plan for the future, but break promises happens all the time... But as the seasons change I am left reflecting on the small things that could -- right now -- make life better for You and I. A wise man will hear, and will increase learning; and a man of understanding shall attain unto wise counsels *proverbs 1:5 As women we’re often brought up to believe we have to be perfect to find the man of our dreams. That’s rubbish. I know because I was one of the women who strived for perfection for years. It didn’t get me the man of my dreams. It did make me miserable though. I wasn’t being myself. Too much "perfection" kills. Firstly, we need to have an understanding that men and women often have different ways of communicating. Women tend to want to explore a range of different feelings and opinions on most matters, and care of simple details. Most men prefer for things to be kept simple. Simple as in "simple" - don't bother with details - do what is right for the moment,not for the future kind of things... Some men do not see the need for communication unless there is a problem that needs to be fixed or an action that needs to be taken. The simple discussion of feelings or opinions is not easy for many men. They always think why women make it complicated, or they often think "Is it a problem? or is there any problem?" Well, guess, we should present our feelings on the issue and give him an opportunity to react. Men can be particularly defensive if they feel they are being personally attacked, so be careful with how you phrase certain statements. Sometimes...we, women, basically can't really talk to them and expect them to understand. It just the way their thinking are different from us. It ended up with compromising - negotiating. As women we tend to be very patient – too patient sometimes. We’ll wait and wait for the man we are dating to first utter those three words we long to hear ‘I love you’ followed by a close second ‘let’s get married.’ The problem is that some of us wait, and wait, and wait. Months, then years pass and the most we get from our guy is the occasional ‘you’re cool’ or ‘you’re a lot of fun.’ Futures aren’t build on fun alone. If a man is even considering a deeper commitment with a woman, he’ll do at least-to think about it-make a simple meaningful - actions. Well, but i'm glad my dear love is slowly turning into a man. Even things are consider slow, his reaction is rather deliberate, but he is trying his best. Appreciate you for this. I must say, he surprises me sometimes with his actions of love...:) Dear, love won't wait, so does life.

When Love and Hate Colides

*Hairy Maclary vs Slinky Malinki*

The broken arrow

seketika ia tak mampu bernafas, menggenggam secercah harapan di malam sepi berharap ada matahari menyinari relung hati... berharap kembali,entah apa yang ada di otaknya disela - sela kebulan asap rokok yang membentuk bola - bola putih itu menerawangi langit, menyapa bulan air mata yang turun ke relung hati, hanya bisa ia simpan saja... aah! percintaan yang luar biasa!! datang dari setiap sayatan rasa... ckck... aku hanya bisa ikut merasakan sakitnya, pedihnya, ffiiuuhh.... waktu akan mengikis cinta lama, bergulir dengan harapan baru... si lelaki tajam.

Slinky Malinki

slinky malinki was blacker than black, a stalking and lurking adventurous cat. he had bright yellow eyes, a warbling wail and a kink at the end of his very long tail. a cheecky and cheerful cat, friendly and fun, loves to chase after leaves and roll in the sun. he turned into a THIEF. "What a criminal cat!" with a tangled-up middle and glue on his face, slinky malinki was deep in disgrace. NEVER again did he answer the call, when the moon shadows danced over garden and wall.

Riddle of Sphinx

People enter into a relationship to get to know the other person, they enter into a commitment based on their love, and they seek happiness in life. All relationships have problems. What makes their relationship last while others don’t? That is a tough question to answer because there are a lot of factors. The biggest is opportunity and unhappiness. Relationships are built on love, and sometimes two people forget to communicate causing unhappiness. Opportunity comes when we let it in. Whenever there's a chance, when something is start missing, passion has faded, partners feel lonely, people find someone who treats them better or who appreciates them more than their current spouse, and so on...that's where it begin. For better or for worse, our romantic relationships are not always as straightforward as we would like them to be...not as simple as clapping hands together. Love creates both happiness and heartache, opportunities and constraints, joy and sorrow. “Can you really forgive if you can't forget?” *Carrie Bradshaw - Sex and the City*

it was a wonderful sunday

as we spent this day together... he picked me up at my place and we went to do our sunday routines, preparing ourselves to play better djembe and not embarrassing ourselves on the day we perform...:P and continue with having late lunch at one of the mall and we planned to watch movie actually when suddenly a lady from one of the local newspaper choose people randomly to get free ticket plus snacks and drink...owwhh,how lucky we were...and there! we watched the movie. i never get something free or won anything, but it was a good start..hihih

joyride!!!

i wanna go here, have a joyride. i miss this place, miss my good friends, the shopping, teh tarik, indian rojak, swenzen's fries, apple pie @metro,,,huhuhu,,,i miss them all.

draw me a star

....and he sent me this....

oohh yeaahh!!

for i love you, still. christmas day always brings warm feeling to those who celebrate and as well to those who are not. the feeling of sharing, caring, giving, and love is in the air. parents can recreate Christmas traditions that are important to them, which they remember from their childhood, so that their children can experience the memorable customs. my parents do that too. some of the Christmas traditions we started with the whole family over 10 years ago were . It's something they always look forward to - and it's become a tradition in our family. the smell of spaghetti, choc pudding, oxtail soup, and baked potato...yumyumm it's not x'mas yet, but i wanna feel the warmth of x'mas day,now...hiks...unwell.

yang menyesakkan dada

............................................owh......................................... how i wanna do this...now. tapi lalu mengurungkan niat, dan hanya menghela nafas panjang... maafkan, saya tidak mampu mengeluarkan rasa ini, hanya terpendam begitu saja dan membusuk di relung hati.

fake hope

if i can fly, i'll spread my wings and soar high if i can fly, i'll be there in your loving arms if i can fly, i'll hide myself under an old oak tree if i can fly, i won't feel this miserable if i can fly, i won't say a single word, i'll just leave this unsafe world, if i can fly, i'll explore all the hidden places if i can fly, i'll fly to heaven and ask God... why?? but, too bad,,,, i cannot fly so, i'll just sit here and cry... a friend said: Be very careful if you make a woman cry, because God counts her tears!

Hey fellas,,

sometimes i question these... is a good man really good for everyone? can a good man turns bad? will they know your existence? will they know how to take good care of you? will they meet your needs? is an asshole gonna be asshole forever? will they change? when they are aware of your existence, would it be because they have hidden agenda? don't you think somehow they know how to make you feel, make you hear, what you want to feel, what you want to hear? hidup penuh dengan dualisme yang membingungkan, kadang menyenangkan, bisa memudahkan, sesekali menghadapkan pada pilihan pilihan bodoh. rasanya semua hal dihadapkan hanya pada dua pilihan: hitam-putih, naik-turun, benci-cinta, dicinta-mencinta, cepat-lambat, dan banyak pilihan lainnya. when you know there are few things with more options, why can't you choose one? when you know the things you should do, the things you should put in mind, why can't you do so? some people are too lazy to make things work, some at the opposite site, too attention seeking, some just being confuse with their life. you can't let people do things for you forever, you can't expect people to be able to read your mind, you can't let people to make their first move all the time, you should know when is your turn. you should finalize it yourself! or just scream for..... ----------------------------------S.O.S-------------------------------------------

Sorry for the stupid things

Sometimes a man Is gonna be a man It's not an excuse It's just how it is Sometimes the wrong Don't know that they're wrong Sometimes the strong Ain't always so strong Sometimes a girl Is gonna be a girl She don't wanna deal with all the drama in your world *Baby Face*

Cynicism-Sarcasm

yes, i can be both cynical and sarcastic when i come to the point-i have enough with you-things. my boyfriend ever mentioned that i am an extreme person. i can be super nice either super bad. some people cannot take it. i'm a type that will not bother others if they don't bother or being annoying. you can jump, you can roll, do whatever you want-i don't care. i don't care whether you are black, white, yellow, or whatever color. i don't care if you are tall, short, fat, skinny, superior, junior. if you don't show respect, i shall not respect you too. why should i? some people might be scared when they have foreigner as their superior or colleagues, i don't. hummmm, i scolded some just because they "think" they know everything. my dad always tells me not to be afraid or feel intimidated by people. i played a game today that sums up Battlefield lately for me. and it's not fun anymore. i'm getting bored of it. i feel like i'm following ones character of being a childish. seperti lagu audy saja...lama lama aku bosan...maaf yah, karena permainan sudah tidak lagi menarik,itu itu saja dengan topik yang sama...kira kira itu yang ada dipikiran saya ketika saya mencoba mengingat ingat topik topik itu ditambah bayangan samar.. well, a person of words and not deeds is like a garden full of weeds... yaaahh,teman teman sekalian, saya sedang bosan saja, tapi untung hari ini ada sesi photo yang cukup menyenangkan...hahhahaha

lelaki

hari ini saat makan malam di sebuah pusat jajanan besar, saya duduk mengamati sekeliling...

di meja sebelah kiri ada sepasang pasangan di pertengahan umur 30an, sang laki laki sibuk makan wedang ronde sambil mengangkat kaki dan mulutnya pun selain makan, sibuk berbicara melalui telepon selularnya. sang pasangan? tidak makan apaapa, hanya duduk menunggui sang kekasih selesai berbicara di telepon. saat selesai pun, sang lelaki sibuk makan lagi.

lalu ada lagi pasangan tua. sang bapak nampak sangat mencintai istrinya. menunggu sang istri datang, lalu mengambilkan lauk untuk istrinya. manis.

sementara di sisi sebelah lain ada pasangan remaja, saling memandang, sang laki laki tampak malumalu, membagi minumannya kepada sang pasangan, sang pasangan pun nampak tersipu...aahh,cinta gila, atau gila cinta?hihi

lalu saya memandang lakilaki yang duduk dihadapan saya,,,yang mana kamu? apa maumu? ah,lakilaki!

Need more attention??

Drama queen - Attention seeker - Victim syndrome - Insecurity

Human beings are social creatures and need social interaction, feedback, and validation of their worth. The emotionally mature person doesn't need to go hunting for these; they gain it naturally from their daily life, especially from their work and stable relationships.

Attention-seeking behavior is

surprisingly

common. Being the centre of attention alleviates feelings of insecurity and inadequacy but the relief is temporary as the underlying problem remains unaddressed: low self-confidence and low self-esteem, and consequent low levels of self-worth and self-love.

Attention-seeking is particularly noticeable with females so I've used the pronoun "she". Males also exhibit attention-seeking behavior.

Why are some people so attention seeking?
weird question.
but why do some people insist on drama??
like i have mental problem? brain tumor? blablabla...

some people just like doing that. Guess...They're trying to seem like the most important,ckck...*sigh....well,there's no law aligned with it,so they are free to do so...hahha

well, life is a choice,anyway.....:)

.....me.....

When i was a baby, guess i was only thinking to have a soothing arms of my mother, don't care of certain politeness...poo and pee here and there... When i turned five, live gave me a new experience, social awareness, ability to know the difference between right and wrong, hey, and this is the age where i learnt my Javanese language skill. ahahahha.. When i leaped to ten, the room is wider open. My sister was taken by her husband,,hehe,,no one to help me to colored our favorite coloring book anymore. I got a new friend, crazy about rollerskating - soon rollerblading, bicycle has been a part of me. First to learn martial art. First to give a boy in school sum peace of mind, leaving a mark on his body, made dad came to school to settle..hihi...owh, I learnt gymnastic too...but didn't last for long... By the age of 15, to a certain extent, was a pretty tomboy, still learning martial art, first to experienced monkey love - first to traveled abroad(between age 10 - 15), a cool teenage life, loved by people, don't bother about things, basket - volley ball crazy...and now, to my surprise, i decided to take a sewing course......huffhuff...out of nowhere.. Reaching twenty, life is rather miserable, a sudden maturity has arisen. Made a huge mistake, a stupid one precisely. Still active in sports and made some important decisions in life. 25 was my gold year. yes,it was. Great job, good salary, met great people. Still continue traveled to different places, get some exposure in life from different parts of the world. Now, I'm reaching thirty...Life is not as simple as it seemed. A wish to go back to the past and make it better, wish to say goodbye or sorry before he leave this world, wish to make a brand new surprise in life, feel like settling down, but lost sometimes. Wanna be - don't wanna be. Well, life is a circle. It goes round somehow. It won't wait for us to be ready.

Food is love

Dengan sedikit usaha, keringat, kesukaan, cinta, saya senang membuat semua ini menjadi nyata.....akhir minggu akan membuat masakan baru ah! semoga ada orang di rumah, jadi gak mubazir..hihi "Aplle Pie" "Asam - asam daging" "Cheese Cake" "Mashed Potato with minced meat balls" "Pastel Kentang" George Bernard Shaw once said, “There is no love sincerer than the love of food.” Where there is a fusion of continents and food, you’ll fall in love with both.

Journey that makes a man

“Time will heal the pain”. But for some cases, with time passes by, the pain gets deeper. One can say that they love a particular person so much but the action of love is zero. yes,indeed, it's hard when you talk about love and the control of feelings that you can't stop within yourself. A fool is someone who does not know but does not want to ask. and we all ever been a fool once or twice. We tends to leave what is important to us and give up on trying...or perhaps too weak to try?? Anyhow, in my case, the finishing line is not as important, it's the journey that matters. I have tendency to push myself to forget and forgive, and move on. I remember the good ones, and throw away the bad ones. But i do take my time to think, feel every pain within me, and learn from my mistakes. Yes, you can cheat others, but you can never cheat yourself. No matter how hard you try, you can always hear the sounds of your heart. Be sincere, do your best, though your finishing line is not as good as your wish. Seperti ucapan teman saya ini "

Indahnya hidup bukan seberapa banyak org mengenal kita,tetapi seberapa banyak org menjadi bahagia setelah mengenal kita"

Haattchuu

Pagi ini jadi bersin – bersin akibat naik becak di udara dingin semalam selama hampir 40 menit, tidak membawa jaket, tubuh jadi tidak bersahabat ditambah alergi dingin dan debu. Payah sekali. Si partner lagi ngambek, harus dibengkelkan hari ini,,,aahh,lama sekali ngambeknya….hiks ditambah memikirkan jumlah lembaran rupiah merah yang harus dijumlahkan untuk membayar si partner…..heewww…..rasanya kok bisa beli satu motor yah? Hiks. Tiba tiba malam tadi saya jadi sangat merindukan dia. Entah. Ingin rasanya mengirim pesan singkat, tapi saya mengurungkan niat. Ingin rasanya ditemani seperti malam malam sebelumnya. Rasanya saya akan menyimpan semua rasa ini, sementara waktu, untuk diri saya saja…menyimpan rasa rindu sampai jatuh tertidur. Yah, saya juga hanya manusia biasa. *galau*

Plead insanity

People claim insanity as part of their defense. They don't have to feel guilty for killing someone. *Lunatic...I wanna be one right now, before i start killing things.

choice

Princess Fiona: "I want what any princess wants - to live happily ever after..." Snow White: I'm sorry but this isn't working for me. , "I'm waiting to be rescued."

Saat ini...

saya ingin.... berlari - lari kecil di pantai dengan sepotong gaun pendek dan sendal jepit menghirup aroma tanah di saat hujan bergelung di sofa, menatap air hujan yang jatuh dari pinggir jendela makan strawberry segar dengan cream putih buatan sang oma duduk di arena al-fresco sambil menikmati blueberry pie dan bir dingin...or juice perhaps....hummm....?? bertemu kamu lagi, memeluk, menghirup aroma vanila, hanya untuk memastikan kamu baik baik saja berjalanjalan di hujan bersama sang kekasih menatap bintang di langit dan tersenyum karena tahu saya sudah berada di belahan dunia lain bersepeda di udara dingin dengan jaket dan topi wool aaaahhh, saya tidak terlalu peduli dengan saya yang sekarang hidup naik turun, capek bekerja, bosan mencari uang saya tidak peduli dengan gelar guru terbaik se-jabodetabek, ga penting! tidak peduli apakah kamu pedulikan saya atau tidak, tidak peduli si mobil mau merengek atau mengembik, terserah saja. saya sedang ingin mengosongkan pikiran,,,,, dan bersantai sejenak saja. *hidup ini indah*

Treasure every moments

There is no going back. There is no drawing against tomorrow. You must live in the present of today's life. Invest it so as to get from it the utmost in health, happiness, success, and love. The clock is running. Time is like a coin you can spend only once. Use it, make it count, treasure it with someone special. Special enough to have your time and remember time waits for no one. for yesterday is a misery and tomorrow is a mystery. Make the most of today. *sing this song I could stay awake just to hear you breathing Watch your smile while you are sleeping While you're far away and dreaming I could spend my life in this sweet surrender I could stay lost in this moment forever Where every moment spent with you is a moment i treasure I'm glad i spent it with you.

Wish upon a star

I've never seen a shooting star. If i do, what would i wish for? wish that hundreds of miles away you were using your wish on me. a year from now, we're lying down side by side on a big field of grass, holding hands still, kissin', tangled with too many blanket with stars as our rooftop.

Arabic Bellydance Tabla

good for next djembe session..hihihi

pearl jam last kiss

Djembe Solo Hip Hop Style

Monotony

“There's no excuse to be bored. Sad, yes. Angry, yes. Depressed, yes. Crazy, yes. But there's no excuse for boredom, ever.”

a sweet sad song sent this morning

There was a time When I was so broken hearted Love wasn't much of a friend of mine The tables have turned, yeah Cause me and them ways have parted That kind of love was the killin' kind Now listen All I want is someone I can't resist I know all I need to know by the way that I got kissed I was cryin' when I met you Now I'm tryin' to forget you Love is sweet misery I was cryin' just to get you Now I'm dyin' �cause I let you Do what you do - down on me Now there's not even breathin' room Between pleasure and pain Yeah you cry when we're makin' love Must be one and the same It's down on me Yeah I got to tell you one thing It's been on my mind Girl I gotta say We're partners in crime You got that certain something What you give to me Takes my breath away Now the word out on the street Is the devil's in your kiss If our love goes up in flames It's a fire I can't resist v I was cryin' when I met you Now I'm tryin' to forget you Your love is sweet misery I was cryin' just to get you Now I'm dyin' �cause I let you Do what you do to me Cause what you got inside Ain't where your love should stay Yeah, our love, sweet love, ain't love If you give your heart away I was cryin' when I met you Now I'm tryin' to forget you Your love is sweet misery I was cryin' just to get you Now I'm dyin' just to let you Do what you do what you do down to me, baby, baby, baby I was cryin' when I met you Now I'm tryin' to forget you Your love is sweet misery I was cryin' when I met you Now I'm dyin' cause I let you Do what you do down to , down to, down to, down to I was cryin' when I met you Now I'm dyin' to forget you Your love is sweet I was cryin' when I met you (fade)

just a perfect words for you

Handle them carefully, for words have more power than atom bombs. --Pearl Strachan

a lot in mind

A friend said: The one in my heart is not a secret because it's only one. The lots in my mind should be secrets, because there are too many of them to let out. They are all special and beautiful, and that makes me happy" beautiful things are for you to see, beautiful hearts are for you to treasure. my partner is special, he has both things. that's why i stick around.

He

He certainly tall, and kinda skinny. His worn jeans were few inches too short. His messy hair smells nice. Sweat all over his forehead. Obviously crazy about bikes. Immature yet mature... Serious but silly. He makes me laugh, he makes me mad. Here are few silly questions that i asked him a while ago,,just for fun. MEAT he: food. ELEMENT he: yang drummernya GIGI?? hihihi ICE DANCING he: brrrrrgh PASSION he: Jesus...Passion of Christ COLD FEET He: ga bisa jalan BIRTHDAY He: sepi dan lilin TRACY He: pacar ORIGINAL He: KFC RULES He: didobrak IMPORTANT FIGURE He: GI Joe MIDNIGHT SNACK He: menyenangkan LOW AND LAZY He: loneliness UNHAPPY FACE He: hybrid moments A VISIT TO THE DENTIST He: Jamila = jatuh miskin lagi ROBOT He: unhuman=slavery TEDDY BEAR He: sok lucu WISH He: malam sebelum tidur CONDOMS He: karet LOVE He: gift (sweet :D)

I could have been your old - best friend

"Tell me why are still friends? When everything says we should be more than we are". "That's weird and funny". It was a lovely idea, a beautiful story and for a moment she wished she could believe it. Then, that night, snow fell. Be special, important, and happy. He loves me at any rate, she thought.

John Mayer - Who Says (Official Music Video)

Kings of Convenience - Mrs. Cold (Music Video)

hihihihiahhahhahahahhaha

lucu kadang, dia berpikir saya sok tau padahal saya tidak tahu apaapa ttg dia. hey, apa kamu tidak berpikir? kamu pun tidak tau apaapa ttg saya, siapa yg memulai semua ini? maaf, kamu hanya anak kecil egois menurut saya. tidak apa. saya selalu tertawa terbahak bahak melihat semua ini. yah, u are a joke,man!

a hand to hold

Grayish hair, blue eyes, naughty smile, shorts – knee length socks – plus sandal, red wool jacket, apple sauce chicken, blueberry pie, hot coffee – fresh milk and dry gin, patat met mayo sauce, vanilla, sit by the river, people – watching, motor mabur, tobacco, one last hair cut, one last nail cutting, my partner in crime. Miss you, gramps.

little hands

Sometimes you get discouraged Because I am so small And always leave my fingerprints On furniture and walls But everyday I'm growing big And soon I'll be very tall Then all my little hand prints Will be hard to recall So here's a special hand print Just so that you can say this is how my fingers looked when I placed them here today.

leaning backward

That man… Could do nothing, Cold at heart, Missing her, Could only stare at her picture, Haul, Hold every breathe, Not to touch her. Far away so close. That woman… Think that he’s sweet, Care for her, Think of him one-two times, Left the memory behind, Obstruct, Wish him happiness, He is too little too late. It is okay to miss someone. It is not okay when you have someone, then start missin’ someone else. He doesn’t wish to be the oddball. She doesn’t wish to pretend to be who she is not. She is letting him go. He started to miss her. She doesn’t wish this wind. He thinks it’s a hurricane. He’s been longing for her, wanted to spend the rest of his life with her. She thinks it’s a bit too late. She loves the other guy, not him, no more. She could only stare at the screen, say nothing, but good bye in her heart. She turns at her back, hold his hands. They leave the memory behind. He could only stare,,,at their picture,,,feel the pain in heart. Try to capture every moment…but it’s too late. He is always a second too late

Nobody sees a flower

A good friend can tell you what is the matter with you in a minute. He may not seem such a good friend after telling - Arthur Brisbane. but,,,,hey reality sucks,,,,you can't always expect to have every little things to be good and perfect. what can make you suicidal? try to be light at heart and except things you cannot change, courage to look forward, i guess? i ain't no good person myself, but i try to keep peace, if my peace get distract, i'll create hell. but, I thank God, to have such a caring friends like them. Thank you for being with me in my high and low :) well, there's a saying: You can make more friends in two months by becoming interested in other people than you can in two years by trying to get other people interested in you.

Reminiscence

beberapa hujan membawa rasa sedih, rasa rindu, rasa sepi. tapi tidak hujan kemarin sore. setelah sesi djimbe yang kami lakukan di setiap minggu, kami berhujan - hujanan...hihihi...sperti anak kecil yang mendapat perman lolipop saja. rasanya menyenangkan. yah,seperti itu. bergandengan tangan di sepanjang jalan setiabudi, tertawa - tawa, berbelanja kue tradisional, dipeluk, dilindungi, dibisikan kata cinta. “I am the happiest creature in all the world. Perhaps other people have said so before, but not one with such justice. I am happier even than Jane; she only smiles, I laugh.” – Jane Austen (Pride and Prejudice) there's no place like home, yes, indeed. i agreed. home is to far, but they made me feel like home. a cup of warm tea, fed with love by the love one (humm...mungkin sang mama berpikir betapa romantisnya dia sekarang =P), showered and used a warm long sleeves, he hugged and kissed me, put a warm blanket and said have a good rest, i love you. see, u can be sweet if you want to,right? see how well i describe you. love is not always necessarily shown by goods, poem, love songs, or whatever, sometimes a walk in a rain is enough. it's just perfect,my dear. :) hey, kamu tampak cantik dengan bando saya...hihihihi, dasar gila halma.

the courage to change

seorang teman dekat mengutip Dr.Creflo Dollar "keberanian seorang pria diawali dengan keberanian untuk berubah". menarik. saya yakin teman saya ini memang seorang pria yang berani untuk berubah, dia sudah membuktikannya. bravo! bagaimana dengan anda - anda sekalian? dimana nyali anda? well,take it slow and keep moving forward for a good change in life ;)

phew...

She pulled her pajama and t-shirt over her sleep clothes. The world was as dark as eyes closed, but perhaps because she’s been thinking about him and their little fight. She would never tell how small and ugly she felt. Let him. Let all believe I don’t care. I don’t. What could she wish for? To be as tall as a tree, to have an ear to hear the Linder ripe for the harvest, to bloom like a flower that never been watered, to fly and chase the wind? Nope. She has her pride. Too much in her. She tried to lower down her stupid pride and finally agreed to see him and get over the fight. Yes, she’s been longing to see him. Owwh, how she hates the quarrel they had a day before. She made him a small note in a sweet purple card. “I’m sorry. Please forgive me? I love you.” He had taken her in his arms, kissed her with such love, and smiled. She knew she would leap across the hilltop if he asked it. Despite the pain and weakness after a fight, she kept the “cheeeppyy dumdumdum shalallaala” feelings tight to her heart and enjoyed the hugs and kiss. She liked her laugh better than the taste of jellybeans in the mouth. At the sound, her heart feels lighter. Thank God, she likes the gift she gave her. She enjoyed the shoes and walking around the house with it. His sister came and made a compliment of her new hair cut and busy talking about their so-call-date on Sunday. Owh,well..She will sleep over tonight. :) She couldn’t ask for more happy time. Thanking God for every little things.

menerawang

cinta atau kegilaan sesaat? kadang saya merasa salah ambil jurusan sewaktu kuliah dulu. jurusan yang seharusnya mampu membuat saya memahami pribadi unik masing - masing orang. yaah,,humm,,saya jadi berpikir kekuatan cinta membuat orang buta atau tepatnya mengalami kegilaan sesaat?? kehidupan pribadi yang buruk mempengaruhi pekerjaan, kehidupan sosial, pikiran menjadi tidak benar, negatif, dan kecenderungan menyakiti dan menyalahkan orang lain atas kegagalan yang kita alami semkin besar, alasan alasan dipakai untuk membenarkan rasa sakit dan pembalasan dendam yang entah perlu atau tidak. sangat disayangkan sekali. kadang saya juga mengalami hal yang sama. temporary madness. but as fast as i could, i try to get back in a track. well, but sum people like to have self pity, kecenderungan untuk mengasihani diri sendiri dan seolah tidak bisa bangkit dari rasa sakit. yah,kadang saya merasa kasihan, kadang saya pun merasa jijik. humm,,,hujan keras di jakarta,,,membuat perasaan rindu semakin terasa. I'll be back soon. for you. ohya, beberapa orang mungkin tidak akan menyukai saya yang cenderung diam,straight forward, dan serius. eh,tapi sebenarnya tidak juga seperti itu. saya bisa sangat menyenangkan kalau saya mau, tapi maaf jika ada orang - orang tertentu yang tersinggung,,,hehehhe,,,,,itu artinya saya memang tidak bersimpati terhadap anda. cheers! :)

A perfect glasses to match your day

White people love these Ray-Bans because they were very popular in the 1960s and the 1980s. This gives them a historical precedent and allows white people to classify them as “timeless.” I've got two of those myself. Hiks. But need to fixed coz i've been using it for years. old,ma??*singlish style...hihihihi I wanna get this for my sweet love. I got him once a cycling sunglasses,apparently he was too strong and somehow broke when he used it for a cycling competition..hiks

"Today it's all sunglasses and T-shirts."

~ Missy Hinton quotes We must pay attention to timing and to other people or we will be out of tune. It is better to be hated for who you are, than to be loved for someone you are not.