knock on woods

your happiness is your choice. i do sometimes find comfort in being sad. usually tears will make u feel better,,,or they don't?? but i do not dwell on the failure...just sometimes things are quite depressing for me. i rather take work stress than being in emotional stress. i keep on telling myself to have positive mental attitudes. last night i shared some stories in my life to a good friend of mine. she seemed to be shocked, she asked me how can i be so strong, she said she can't imagine how life can be so cruel towards me and thanking God that i can still survive and do not committed suicide. i just smiled coz i don't even know how can i be that strong. i am just aware that i am responsible for my own actions and reactions.I am responsible for how I feel and how I use my time. i have made wrong decisions, i guess we all do sometimes...but i do not want to blame anyone for anything, though they took part in making me feel miserable at that time. if you do not choose to be happy no one can make you happy. Do not blame God for that! And if you choose to be happy, no one can make you unhappy. this morning, i sent a message to a person that means a lot for me. a good friend. a soul mate. she surprisingly replied between her busyness. she told me that we are the one that make the people around proud, we are responsible with ourselves and no one else. she told me to look forward continue to pursue my dreams. she said again that i need to be focus and take the challenges coz i have a lot in me. there is time and season for everything. she said i should go and make new friends, no point to hang on history. i just need to believe in myself. i told her that i do make new friends, but i couldn't let go the old ones. i told her that memories keep me alive, remind me how much i am loved. nobody likes misery...neither do i. i just need to be happy, and good things will be drawn towards me like Magnets. finger crossed. you are not responsible for my happiness, i am. maybe it's time to let go, so everybody will be happier. please, help me, God...